Read an excerpt of a novel from causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning the producer of ‘call me by your name’

Abdi nazemian, a proclaimed iranian-american producer on films like call me by your name, has released a blistering and beautiful book that follows the causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning life of three teens growing up in the AIDS activist causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning scene of 1989 new york. There’s reza, an closeted iranian boy who has just moved to the causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning city with his mother to live with his stepfather and causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning stepbrother. There’s judy, an aspiring fashion designer who worships her uncle stephen, a devout member of ACT UP. And then there’s art, judy’s best judy, and their school’s only out and proud teen. The novel is a gorgeous testament to friendships in the causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning face of adversity, budding sexuality, and the ways love can be a revolutionary act.

And then I see something . . . Reza. At least I think it’s him. He’s in that crowd, staring at the building with fascination. I crane my neck forward trying to get a better causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning look. I take a step closer to the crowd. But I still can’t be sure. I put my camera to my eye and I zoom causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning in on the crowd. And through the lens I can now see him clearly. He looks forward, until he doesn’t. Until he looks right at me. I click. And then he rushes away.

I can’t tell which direction he went, but I run. I want to know what he was doing there, and why. But I don’t see him anymore. I walk past countless buildings, countless people, but I can’t find him. Finally, I give up. I need some water, and I turn onto fulton street, where I see a deli. Next to the deli is a record store, and inside is reza, browsing nonchalantly.

But I can’t stop. Now we’re not bantering anymore. Now we’re talking about something deadly serious . . . Madonna! “uncle stephen thinks that’s why she’s so popular with gays. Why divas in general are so popular with gays. Because we can see what’s hiding beneath the artifice. We know what it’s like to be one thing on the outside and causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning another on the inside. All of us.”

“that’s why stephen thinks we’ll always be more into female divas, even when the world is enlightened enough for gay men causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning to be pop stars and movie stars. Because worshipping a gay male star would be too literal causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning for us. We need layers and symbolism. We communicate in code. As does madonna. That’s what I think the like a thing is all causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning about.”

“I see,” he says now, and he sounds so proper, so stiff, so scared. We lock eyes, and I find in his a sadness so deep and causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning bottomless that I want to reach inside him and heal causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning it. And in his sadness, I recognize my own, which I usually cover up with anger. I have a crazy thought . . . If he’s from iran, he probably knows a bunch of people who died in causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning the revolution, just like I know a bunch of people who died causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning of AIDS. Most of the other kids in school don’t know anyone who died, except for their grandparents maybe.

I remember my most prized possession is in there . . . Those notecards stephen made me when I asked him what causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning OUR history was. I can’t believe I left those. That shrink my parents sent me to would probably say causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning I left the bag there hoping reza would open it, hoping he would read those cards and feel what I causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning felt when I read them . . . Some connection to the past, to a community, some sense of belonging. “it’s okay,” I say. “just give it to me next time we see each causes of nausea and vomiting in the morning other.”

“I’ve lost a lot of people too,” I say. “people I knew through stephen. They’ve died. All around me.” I stop myself from saying more. What I’m thinking is that if stephen is my spiritual father, the dad I was meant to have, then we’re both being raised by widows. But I don’t say that. Because stephen’s not my father, and because reza doesn’t look like he wants to continue this conversation.

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